Nerf Guns

As a kid, I strapped a Nerf gun to my bicycle so I could dive bomb the neighborhood kids, while traveling—I imagined—at five times the speed of sound. As an adult, I’ve carried a foam-firing blaster to no fewer than three jobs. But a funny thing happened last year: I realized my old guns weren’t any good anymore.

They hadn’t worn out. (Well, most of them anyways; my Sharpshooter II was toast.) It was just that toy blasters had evolved when I wasn’t looking. Now, they shoot farther, faster, and lay down more fire than ever before. You can buy a freaking fully-automatic Nerf machine gun now. I clearly needed to up my game. But how to arm myself?

 

War has changed. I’ve found that whether you’re wresting control of the office from nefarious colleagues or dominating friends at the park, a single-shot sidearm won’t cut it anymore. The wonderful part about foam warfare is that you can dodge bullets like Neo in The Matrix. The hard part: so can anyone else. Since statistically, you’re going to miss most of the time, you need a blaster with lots of shots, or one that can pick off foes before they get close. So I went looking for the fastest, most accurate Nerf guns that don’t require constant reloading.